33 The expert witness traveled to Colombia for the first time in 1995. He got to know some of the work that ASFADDES was doing and conducted many emotional support workshops with groups of human rights defenders, displaced people, victims of communities affected by violence in general, and people affected by forced disappearance. The expert witness has also kept in contact with the nuclear families of the alleged victims in this case, and interviewed 28 next of kin of 13 of the alleged victims. The results of the interviews reflect the impact of the forced disappearance of the 19 tradesmen on the respective victims’ nuclear families. Disappearance is a sudden act that raises many questions for the victims’ next of kin. It is called a “traumatic experience,” because it is an experience that leaves an indelible scar people’s memories and lives, which they have to learn to live with. In the context of human rights violations, disappearance affects the “mourning process,” which is the way in which individuals confront the loss of those with whom they have a special affective relationship. Disappearance involves a very traumatic and difficult mourning process. Mourning includes four principal tasks in the process of emotional recovery and healing. The first task is for people to accept that the loss is a final event in their lives. The second is the possibility of emotional expression, so that people have the opportunity to cry and to tell others how they feel. The third is the adjustment to the new context in which the family member is no longer there; this includes financial adjustment, because they no longer have this source of support. The fourth task is developing ways of remembering the person who has disappeared; how to symbolize the loss, how to recall the disappeared relative, and the possibility of re-establishing emotional relationships with other significant persons. There are serious reservations about these four tasks in cases of forced disappearance, because the fact is unacceptable per se, since there is no certainty that the person has died, and, if their next of kin have died, the family does not have the remains. The ambivalence with regard to what happened means that there is no acceptance. It is also much more difficult to find an opportunity to express the mourning, because there is a social stigma attached to the person who has disappeared that makes it difficult and even dangerous for the next of kin to express themselves. The victims’ next of kin do not have opportunities to express their sorrow in public, such as rites, ceremonies or funerals; in other words, places where they can manifest what they are suffering and receive the comfort of others. Disappearance also means that mourning is carried out under much more stressful conditions for the victims’ next of kin. Often, there is no opportunity to acknowledge feelings, because daily survival becomes the most important factor for the family. The next of kin of the disappeared feel guilty if they try to build relationships with other people, because they find it difficult, or because they feel guilty trying to rebuild their lives or improve their emotional lives without knowing what has happened to their next of kin. Certain types of acts have more impact than others, but it is not appropriate to measure pain by making comparisons designed to determine who has suffered most. Disappearance entails the “de-structuring” of the family dynamics, and this, in turn, results in a loss of social and family support for the children. They do not have a father figure as a reference nor do they understand what has happened; moreover, they are very sensitive to the dynamics of silence that frequently settle into the families of the disappeared.